John Evelyn's Salad Sermon #10 Sage

Hot and dry. Needs to be well picked and washed as it is often defiled with venomous slime and almost imperceptible insects.  Especially good for the head, memory, eyes and all paralytical affections. In short, ‘tis a plant endued with so many and wonderful properties, as that the assiduous use of it is said to render men immortal.

Live forever through sage...?  While we are big fans, it's probably a claim too far.

That said, if immortality is what you're looking for, sage is more likely to help than Scientology. 

---